Producer Paul’s Picks: Week 16

Producer Paul’s Picks: Week 16
December 21, 2013, 3:45 pm
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The Texans' beating the Broncos would not be the biggest upset of the weekend. Pearland beating Allen or Katy losing to Cedar Hill – now those would be upsets.

Picks in bold:

Saints +3 at Panthers

I would have taken the Saints even if they had won in Saint Louis, but after that embarrassment, I would take New Orleans giving three points on the road in Carolina. Also, the Panthers are losing in the first round of the playoffs. Not. A. Believer.

Cowboys -3 at Redskins

If the Cowboys win this game, it does not matter how the Eagles do against the Bears; next week it will be Cowboys vs. Eagles for the NFC East. So I pose this question Cowboys fans: Would you rather:

A. Cowboys get blown out at home a la 44-6 game from a few years ago. The band-aid is ripped off and you’re numb by the end of the first half.


B. Tony Romo has the ball in his hands with a chance to win the game at the end of the fourth quarter.

I’m willing to bet there are more than a handful of fans who would prefer the Cowboys to put out them of their misery by halftime rather than watch another End-of-the-Season Patented Romo Choke Job.

Dolphins -3 at Bills

The Dolphins lose the tiebreaker to the Ravens and are two games back of the Patriots, but I’m gonna say they go into next week with a chance to get into the playoffs.

Rams -4 vs. Bucs

I can’t believe Greg Schiano even made it onto the next University of Texas head coach bracket.

Jets –1.5 vs. Browns

Good to see Ed Reed continuing to take zero accountability for being a shell of his former self.

In part, according to the AP:

"Even reading your blogs, listening to your comments knowing half of you don't know as much about football as you think…unless you sit in the film room with us, break film down or even know the schematic part of it. You ask the questions, but that doesn't mean you're an expert at what we do. It's funny to me reading it. I smile at it, laugh at it, but that's your job. "Some of your jobs, you take it and try to tear people down. You tear the team down. Not understanding it's the team, you'd rather point the finger at one individual."

First it was the Texans coaches getting outcoached, now it’s the media. Keep pointing the finger at everyone except yourself, Ed.

Dude, you robbed the Texans blind. Stop being so bitter.

Chiefs –7 vs. Colts

The last time I took the Colts getting points on the road against the team I thought they should beat (Arizona), they got waxed. I don’t think the Colts are the better team, but it looks like they’re gonna get waxed again. If I’m Indy this is a recon mission for a team I’m probably going to play at home in the first round.

Vikings +8 at Bengals

Speaking of the first round of the playoffs, the team everyone wants to play: Cincinnati!

Jaguars +5 vs. Titans

Remember when the NFC East was the ugliest girl at the dance and the AFC North was the girl you didn’t want to be next to when the lights came on? The AFC South is making both of them look borderline desirable.

Broncos -10.5 at Texans

Speaking of that, this is why the entire time early in the season I said Matt Schaub should remain the quarterback until the season is all but over. Case Keenum had a few nice first halves and zero wins.

From Week 5 :

He (Schaub) could throw multiple interceptions per game, maybe even a few more pick 6s, and the Texans won’t – and shouldn’t – make a change until they are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.

There’s no doubt that Texans ownership drove the move to Keenum, but if Gary Kubiak stuck with Schaub (he may have been fired much earlier, BUT) the Texans are probably at least still alive in the playoff hunt in the worst division in football.

Seahawks -10.5 vs. Cardinals

It was a good run, Bruce Arians and company.

Lions -10 vs. Giants

If I’m a Giants fan, I’m very much hoping John Mara orchestrates a very slightly less messy Mack Brown-type exit for Tom Coughlin. Even as I’m writing it, it sounds pretty absurd for a guy who won two Super Bowls, but it feels like it is time.

Raiders +10 at Chargers

List of guys I think the Texans should pass on:

Lovie Smith, Ken Whisenhunt, Bill O’Brien.

The first two are a little too stale and I just don’t think get you to where you want to go. O’Brien -- I respect what he’s done at both levels; he’s probably the biggest reason Mat McGloin ever sniffed an NFL job, and I don’t think he would be a bad hire, but I’m just not feeling it.

Packers -1.5 vs. Steelers

Everyone in the NFC is cheering for Pittsburgh. And by “everyone,” I mean the Saints and the Seahawks.

Patriots +2 at Ravens

All four New England losses came on the road. Ravens are 6-1 at home. So naturally, the Patriots take out their revenge from last season’s AFC championship loss.

Eagles -3 vs. Bears

It is kind of ridiculous to think that if the Cowboys somehow lose to the Redskins, the Eagles can clinch the NFC East with a win.

49ers -14 vs. Falcons

Jon Gruden might as well entertain Texas’ head coaching pitch with this as his 2013 swan song. Could be an interesting trivia question in five years: Who played in Jon Gruden’s last Monday Night Football game as a broadcaster?

Last Week: 7-7-1. Season: 103-101-6

Texans - Team News
Garrett Graham - TE
Garrett Graham caught two passes for 24 yards in the Texans' Week 7 loss to the Steelers. Graham was targeted three times, but dropped the other. It can be considered one of Graham's better statistical games of the season, which obviously means he's nowhere near...
Oct 20 11:31PM Read More
Andre Johnson - WR
Andre Johnson caught five passes for 77 yards in the Texans' Week 7 loss to the Steelers on... Johnson and DeAndre Hopkins each saw a team-high nine targets. There was nothing special about Johnson's night. His biggest play was a 24-yard grab on a deep in route in...
Oct 20 11:25PM Read More
DeAndre Hopkins - WR
DeAndre Hopkins caught six passes for 108 yards in the Texans' Week 7 loss to the Steelers on... Hopkins and Andre Johnson each saw a team-high nine targets. Ryan Fitzpatrick threw it to whichever receiver was working against embattled Steelers CB Cortez Allen. ...
Oct 20 11:16PM Read More
Alfred Blue - RB
Alfred Blue rushed for 14 yards on five carries and caught an 11-yard touchdown in the Texans'... Blue was the vulture on the opening-drive 11-yard score after Arian Foster managed 59 rushing yards to get the Texans near the goal line. Foster is an every-down back,...
Oct 20 11:09PM Read More
Ryan Fitzpatrick - QB
Ryan Fitzpatrick completed 21-of-32 passes for 262 yards, two touchdowns, and one interception... Fitzpatrick played well for much of the first half, leading the Texans on three consecutive scoring drives to open the game. It was a train wreck thereafter. One play...
Oct 20 10:56PM Read More
Arian Foster - RB
Arian Foster rushed for 102 yards on 20 carries in the Texans' 30-23, Week 7 loss to the... Foster got off to a blazing start, rushing for 59 yards on the Texans' 94-yard opening touchdown drive, but was vultured by Alfred Blue for the 11-yard touchdown catch to...
Oct 20 10:47PM Read More
Jadeveon Clowney - LB
Jadeveon Clowney (knee) is inactive for Monday night's Week 7 game against the Steelers. Clowney's lateral agility wasn't where the Texans wanted it to be in pre-game warmups. He's been out since undergoing knee surgery after Week 1. Whitney Mercilus is...
Oct 20 6:09PM Read More
DeAndre Hopkins - WR
DeAndre Hopkins (hand) is probable for Week 7. The Texans listed Hopkins on the injury report, but his status was never in doubt. He'll be a WR3 for Monday night against the Steelers.
Oct 18 2:54PM Read More
Arian Foster - RB
Arian Foster (groin) is probable for Monday night's game against the Steelers. Foster was limited on Thursday, but practiced in full the last two days. He should have another heavy workload against a Steelers defense that's allowing 4.4 yards per carry...
Oct 18 2:48PM Read More
Andre Johnson - WR
Andre Johnson (ankle) was upgraded to full in Saturday's practice and is listed as probable for... Johnson is good to go for Monday night's matchup with the Steelers. He's Rotoworld's No. 15 receiver this week.
Oct 18 2:39PM Read More
Jadeveon Clowney - LB
Texans OLB Jadeveon Clowney (knee) is listed as questionable for Monday night's game against... Clowney got in two limited practices this week, but said he still "can't run laterally." He could be held out in an attempt to get fully healthy for Week 8. If...
Oct 18 2:20PM Read More
Jadeveon Clowney - LB
Texans OLB Jadeveon Clowney (knee) returned to practice Friday. It was Clowney's first practice since undergoing knee surgery in Week 1. He's expected to be a game-time decision for Monday night. Clowney will likely be on a limited snap...
Oct 17 6:08PM Read More
Arian Foster - RB
Arian Foster (groin) was upgraded to full in Friday's practice. Foster suffered a groin injury in last Thursday's loss to the Colts, but his Week 7 status isn't in doubt. He should be fine for Monday night against the Steelers.
Oct 17 6:02PM Read More
Andre Johnson - WR
Andre Johnson (ankle) remained limited in Friday's practice. The Texans are limiting Johnson's practice reps, but he's expected to play on Monday night. Johnson is Rotoworld's No. 15 receiver this week.
Oct 17 5:53PM Read More
DeAndre Hopkins - WR
DeAndre Hopkins is listed on the Week 7 injury report with a hand issue, but is practicing in... Hopkins must have tweaked something in last week's loss to the Colts. It won't affect his WR3 status for Week 7.
Oct 16 4:22PM Read More