Shooting the Bull: Kubiak and the Texans
Absorbed a brutal 3-9 week and still managed to stay at .500 for the season. I’m due for a good week! (said every degenerate gambler ever)
Picks in bold:
Eagles +1 at Packers
If it is ever possible to know too much about an opponent, this is it. Pat Shurmur was Seneca Wallace’s head coach in Cleveland. Billy Davis was the linebacker’s coach when Wallace was there. You would think they know him inside and out and every way to stop him. You would think.
Titans -13 vs. Jaguars
Also – Clay Matthews’ return means Mike Vick will get another shot this season. This is the guy who started Vick’s crazy return by slamming Kevin Kolb’s head into the ground (probably the start of his concussion problems). Be careful Nick Foles, be very careful.
Giants -7 vs. Raiders
At 3-6 (assuming a NYG win), the Giants will be one, just one, game out of first place if the Cowboys lose to the Saints. Both Super Bowl years, they have been left for dead – and I’m sticking to my guns that this year they are dead – but they get a Rodgers-free Packers team next week and then host the Cowboys.
Colts -10 vs. Rams
Sunday Night Football win over the Broncos. Sunday Night Football comeback win over the Texans. This screams let down, but I’m covering my ears.
Seahawks -6 at Falcons
So much for a rematch of the NFC divisional round.
Ravens +1 vs. Bengals
The Ravens haven’t lost four in a row since 2007. Oh, and this division stinks. So there’s that.
Lions (???) at Bears
When the original report about Aaron Rodgers came out and said possibly three weeks, my first thought was – well the Packers play the Lions in four weeks and we all know Ndamukong Suh will gladly eat a $100,000 fine to continually fall on Rodgers’ collerbone late and after the whistle.
(looks up spread)
Looks like it’s Lions (pick’em) at Bears.
Bills +3 at Steelers.
Ya know, after I took the Bills to upset the Chiefs, if you had told me Buffalo was gonna be on the goal line up 10-3, I would have doubled down. Instead the dealer pulls a 5 on 16 and the minute Sean Smith picked off that pass in the end zone and starting running it back for the touchdown, it was over.
49ers -6 vs. Panthers
Classic case of the Panthers being overvalued. I’m well aware that their defense is stout and Luke Kuechly is one of the best LBs in the league. But their last four wins came against the disastrous Falcons, the infected Bucs, the Rams and the Vikings.
Texans +3 at Cardinals
I respect the Cardinals defense – but that’s it. Texans really have nothing to play for at this point and Case Keenum is due for a pick or two. But I’m just going with the gut. Probably more of an indictment of the Cardinals than anything even though they’re supposedly right in the mix for a playoff berth. Yea. Right.
Oh and Matt, please take your helmet off on the sideline. You look ridiculous.
Broncos -7 at Chargers
Keep throwing to Keenan Allen, Philip.
Saints -7 vs. Cowboys
After watching Tony Romo’s interview on Inside the NFL, the guy seems like a really likeable, cool dude. But I will continue to enjoy watching him in the fourth quarter. (Yea, yea I know he actually led a game winning drive last week after trying to lose the game with a late interception.)
Bucs +3 vs. Dolphins
Name it and this matchup has it. A Code Red, biochemical warfare, mutiny (and you don’t even know which team I’m talking about with this last one!).
So here’s my solution: The NFL wants a franchise in London eventually, so let’s combine that with a little ‘Escape from LA’ element. Jeff Ireland is GM, Greg Schiano head coach. Since by just about all accounts, those two are just not good people, that team has to travel across the pond and play all their games on the road.
As for players – the most fined players in the league get sent to the London team: your James Harrison’s of the world, Ndamukong Suh and lately (sorry Kareem) Kareem Jackson. Also any violaters of the NFL drug testing program are eligible. (Von Miller - That’s one heck of a defense so far).
Richie Incognito, naturally is a pillar on the offensive line.
And on offense, it is quarterback by committee. If you throw a pick-6 the week before you enter a draft and the London team has their choice. Tom Brady throws a pick-6? Pack your bags for Piccadilly Circus, Gisele. But then Matt Schaub throws one the next week and Brady is off the hook.
It needs some work, but I think I’m on to something here.
The perfect storm for the Bucs to get their first win of the season.
Last Week: 3-9-0. Season: 61-61-2